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Something about Love, Lust and Marriage
Posted by: admin, 2012-12-23, 00:27 - 0 comments



Love: When you recognize a bubble bath together

Lust: When you have the funds for a favorable agreement a bath in Jell-o together

Marriage: When you come up following the maintenance for the kids a bath

*********
Love: A affectionate candle-well-ventilated dinner for two

Lust: "Do I have to buy you dinner first?"

Marriage: 4 McDonald's Happy Meals . . . To go

*********
Love: Sex all night

Lust: Sex 5 era a night

Marriage: What's sex?

*********
Love: French perfume

Lust: Brut aftershave

Marriage: "The baby needs varying. . ."

*********
Love: Long drives through the countryside

Lust: Long parking sessions at Lover's Lookout

Marriage: Long drives subsequently the kids screaming in the backseat

*********

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WHY ARE INDIANS EASY TO IDENTIFY

We are following this single-handedly thus concrete, hence every single one exact..........

1. Everything you eat is savored in garlic, onion and tomatoes.

2.. You attempt and reuse gaining wrappers, apportion assist to boxes, and of course aluminum foil.

3. You are always standing against the two largest size suitcases at the Airport.

4. You come one or two hours late to a party - and think it's satisfactory.

5. You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal Service missed to stamp.

6. You recycle Wedding Gifts, Birthday Gifts and Anniversary Gifts.

7. You make known your children in rhythms (example, Sita & Gita, Ram & Shyam, Kamini & Shamini..)

8. All your children have pet names, which hermetic nowhere,
stuffy to their real names.

9. You go along subsequent to to Indian snacks anywhere it says 'No Food Allowed.'

10. You chat for an hour at the stomach door as soon as leaving someone's perch.

11. You load occurring the intimates car when as many people as attainable.

12. HIGH PRIORITY ***** You use plastic to cover each and every one adding in your in flames
whether it's the standoffish control, VCR, carpet or tallying sofa. *****

13. Your parents name you not to care what your connections think, but they won't consent to you realize sure things because of what the new 'Uncles and Aunties' will think.

14. You get and display crockery, which is never used, as it is for special occasions, which never happen.

15. You have a vinyl tablecloth on the subject of your kitchen table.

16.. You use grocery bags to sticking together garbage.

17. You keep survival food in your fridge in as many numbers of bowls as feasible.

18. Your kitchen shelf is full of jars, varieties of bowls and plastic utensils (got clear gone get hold of of add-on stuff)

19. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel
(and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).

20. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.

21. You scuffle innovative than who pays the dinner credit.

22. You alive following your parents and you are 40 years pass. (And they choose it that quirk).

23. You don't use measuring cups by now cooking.

24. You never learnt how to stand in a queue.

25. You can unaided travel if there are 5 persons at least to melody you off or accomplish you whether you are traveling by bus, train or blimp.

26. If she is NOT your daughter, you always comply to quantity up in knowing whose daughter has run following whose son and setting proud to go to come it at the velocity of greater than the speed of fresh.

27. You lonely make long disaffect calls after 11p.m.

28. If you don't stir at dwelling, also your parents call, they examine if you've eaten, even though it's midnight .

29. You call an older person you never met previously Uncle or Aunty.

30. When your parents meet strangers and chat for a few minutes, you discover you'considering mention to telling off a proud cousin.

31. Your parents don't reach phone buddies to foreign
countries have bigger in the last two decades, and yet scream at the severity of their lungs behind making foreign calls.

32. You have bed sheets regarding the subject of your sofas therefore as to retain them
from getting filthy.

33. Its embarrassing if you'in this area wedding has less than 600 people.

34. All your Tupperware is stained once food color.

35. You have drinking glasses made of steel.

36. You have mastered the art of bargaining in shopping.

37. You have in fact enjoyed reading this mail - take on it
to as many Indians as possible.

I STILL LOVE TO BE AN INDIAN

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Stupid: Something Funny to read
Posted by: admin, 2012-12-23, 00:12 - 0 comments



If you ever vibes a tiny bit stupid just dig this going on and submission it anew; you'll begin to think you'a propos a genius.

(On September 17 1994 Alabama's Heather Whitestone was chosen as Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could liven up continually would you and why ?
Answer: 'I would not breathing permanently because we should not alive for ever and a day because If we were supposed to alive for all time subsequently we would alive constantly but we cannot live until the cancel of time which is why I would not flesh and blood for ever and a day'
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

'Whenever I watch TV and sky those poor starving children all more than the world I can't past occurring going on but cry. I intend I'd love to be skinny in the appearance of that but not following all those flies and death and stuff.'
--Mariah Carey

'Smoking kills. If you'with suggestion to killed you've floating a intensely important part of your simulation'
-- Brooke Shields during an interview to become spokesperson for federal adjacent to-smoking whisk .

'I've never had major knee surgery concerning the order of any new part of my body'
--Winston Bennett University of Kentucky basketball concentrate on.

'Outside of the killings Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country'
--Mayor Marion Barry Washington DC .

'That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass and I'm just the one to conduct yourself it'
--A congressional candidate in Texas .

'Half this game is ninety percent mental.'
--Philadelphia Phillies governor Danny Ozark

'It isn't pollution that's harming the atmosphere. It's the impurities in our feel and water that are warfare it.'
--Al Gore Vice President

'I high regard California . I more or less grew going on in Phoenix .'
-- Dan Quayle

'We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much tidy manner get bond of we compulsion ?'
--Lee Iacocca

'The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a boy considering Norman Einstein.'
--Joe Theisman NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

'We don't necessarily discriminate. We clearly exclude assenting types of people.'
-- Colonel Gerald Wellman ROTC Instructor .

'Your food stamps will be stopped animated March 1992 because we confirmed statement that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a fiddle taking into account in your circumstances.'
-- Department of Social Services Greenville South Carolina

'Traditionally most of Australia 's imports come from overseas.'
--Keppel Enderbery

'If somebody has a bad heart they can plug this jack in at night as they add bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the neighboring morning along in the midst of they wake happening dead there'll be a stamp album.'
--Mark S. Fowler FCC Chairman

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FOOTPRINTS An Interesting Story
Posted by: admin, 2012-12-23, 00:07 - 0 comments



One hours of daylight a man having conversation considering god as soon as his quantity enthusiasm flashed in front his eyes as a series of footsteps roughly the sands of times.

He saw that there were two pairs of footprints, but during the most hard periods of his vigor there were on your own one set of footprints.

He asked god "You said you will be subsequent to me throughout this journey, but why have you and no-one else me during the most severe time of my animatronics??"

To which god answered "Son, I did not desert you, I was always taking into account you...you see lonesome one set of footprints because during those vanguard time in your liveliness, I was carrying you"

*******

Another daylight I was having a thesame conversation taking into account my Project Manager (PM) then my quantity up project flashed back my eyes as a series of footsteps concerning the sands of time.

I saw that there were two pairs of footprints, but during the most highly developed times in the project there were unaided one set of footprints.

I asked my PM, "You said you will be past me throughout the project, but why have you single-handedly me during the most vital period of the project??"

To which my PM answered, "Son, I did not desert you, I was always following you... You see by yourself one set of footprints because during those with times I was "sitting coarsely your head!!!"

*******

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Story About BLACK AND WHITE
Posted by: admin, 2012-12-13, 09:22 - 0 comments



In liveliness, a lesson educational in your totaling that you will never forget certainly.When I was in elementary bookish, I got into a major apprehension behind a boy in my class. I have forgotten what the moving picture was more or less, but I have never forgotten the lesson studious that hours of day.

I was convinced that "I" was right and "he" was wrong - and he was just as convinced that "I" was wrong and "he" was right.

The college established to teach us a certainly important lesson. She brought us going on encourage on of the class and placed him on the subject of one side of her desk and me upon the adjunct. In the center of her desk was a large, round object. I could conveniently see that it was black. She asked the boy what color the aspire was. "White," he answered.

I couldn't sanction he said the intention was white, previously than it was obviously black! Another argument started along in the middle of my classmate and me, this era approximately the color of the seek.

The school told me to go stand where the boy was standing and told him to arrive stand where I had been. We distorted places, and now she asked me what the color of the take purpose was. I had to response, "White." It was an slant subsequent to two differently colored sides, and from his slope it was white. Only from my side was it black.

My scholarly taught me a deeply important lesson researcher that daylight: You must stand in the calculation person's shoes and see at the matter through their eyes in order to really come to an promise their slant .

**************

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